Frustrated, upset, truly exhausted. Have you ever found yourself saying this? “Its like she doesn’t even know I’m speaking!” But you are! Speaking, that is. Words are being said. And what begins as a piece of advice, or an attempt at conversation, because of a void of response very quickly becomes a one-sided, heated dialogue… “You’re just not listening to me!!!”
The purpose of my words today are to stand beside you in that room, whatever room that may be and whisper into your ear…’oh but he does hear you.’
He hears your request to do that chore- and he is learning an acceptable norm.
She hears your request for discourse- and she is learning that she is worth speaking to- that she is worth your words.
He hears your disapproval of his grades, his attitude, that girl, and he is learning that he CAN do better.
Oh, but she does hear you.
But this is where it matters; it’s what happens next that really counts… because he does hear you.
What words do you chose, when the door has been slammed?
What words do you chose, when she has walked away from you?
What words do you chose, when his response was a grunt and not a thankyou.
He does hear you.
Am I pretending that she isn’t at fault? NO
Am I pretending it’s easy? No, I know its not.
But I’ve seen the tears at the end of it all. I’ve seen the way that words frame worlds. Good or bad. I’ve seen the negative prophecies of a parents lived out in the lives of young people with a less than fairy tale ending,
And I’ve seen the worlds of young people come tumbling down, caught in the safety net of the words of encouraging parents who could neverhave known the pain their child was suffering. But knew to speak.
I have a friend- her world could have been framed by the words of her parents-
“We love you”
“You are wonderful”
“You are beautiful”
“You are valuable”
She chose not to allow these words to frame her childhood, nor her teen years or her early adult years- perfect words lost on an imperfect lifestyle.
But words cannot remain lost forever and on a darkened day the words that had been spoken years earlier finally fell on a ready moment and she HEARD.
– That we would know when to speak and when to pray
– That we would know that an encouraging word is for EVERY season, rain, hail or shine. Anger, turmoil or peace.
– That our anger would be kept in check. Our words; a blessing not a weapon.
He does hear you.