The Real Conversation Around Sexting

Sexting

Sexting: Texting, Sending, or Uploading Sexual Images and Messages.
This more common than most parents and educators are wanting to believe and it’s a conversation that needs to be had. Digital footprints are being left yet the future of these images and their impact is yet to be seen. The statistics speak volumes and it is incumbent upon parents and educators to open up the dialogue about the dangers of sexting and how it can negatively affect their future.

 

In this article from MomsGetReal, they share  ‘5 Things Parents should tell their teens about Sexting‘. Have a read and be empowered.

 

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Remedy for Angry Boys – Quality Time

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If you have an angry boy under your roof, chances are he’s screaming out for some quality time. The way to get the anger out is to press in with time. Boys will be boys and boys need to know they matter, they are heard and that someone is proud of them.

 

The Australian has said that sadly, studies have shown that Australian fathers spend less than 10 minutes a week of “quality time” with their sons. Read on to discover how you can take the anger out of your home/family life.

 

 

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Sexualization of Girls

Sexualisation

 

There is a global conversation about the sexualization of girls, it’s there, it’s happening and it needs to be responded to. Thankfully, the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls was formed in response to these expressions of public concern. There is much information in this link and we encourage you to take some time to read it. There is a great section on ‘What Parents Can Do’ which we believe to be especially valuable.

 

We hope this helps you navigate your parenting journey as you raise strong, confident girls http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report.aspx.

 

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The Peter Pan Man | David Kobler

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 Today many teen boys can be very confused about what manhood is all about. What does it mean to be a man? Is it an age you turn? Is it a club that you join? Are there achievements that determine your manhood?

One thing that we can confidently say is that teen boys bodies will change as they go through puberty. Physiologically, they will make the transition into physical manhood without effort – but is that all that manhood is all about?

When I look around society today, I see many examples of what I call the Peter Pan Man. Just like Peter Pan lived in Never Neverland (a land where you never have to grow up) we have boys who don’t really grow up. So often in our society the examples of manhood that are given to our young men are men that are proving their manhood through drinking, sexual conquest, aggression and pornography. Is there any question why there is so much confusion around manhood?
45f454e5b55e10635f37db79704b0c66In my work with young men, I often ask them to stop and think about what attributes differentiate men from boys. Their answers tend to include the attributes of respect, self- control and responsibility. Personally, I don’t believe real men are disrespectful to women, the Peter Pan man might be, but not real men. I don’t believe real men express violence toward those they love. Boys may not know how to control their anger, but men should. I don’t believe real men will blame other people for their own poor choices. Instead, they will take responsibility for their actions.

There is a deep desire in boys to become real men and for this to happen we must continue to discuss the attributes of true manhood with the young men in our lives. We must take every opportunity to place right and real examples of men in front of the boys/young men around us. The Peter Pan examples that our society has to offer must not replace the important examples that fathers, brothers, clergy, teachers, grandfathers, coaches and other greats in our society have to offer. The hearts and minds of the young people in our world depend on this.

 

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You’re just not listening to me!!!

Listening
Frustrated, upset, truly exhausted. Have you ever found yourself saying this? “Its like she doesn’t even know I’m speaking!” But you are! Speaking, that is. Words are being said. And what begins as a piece of advice, or an attempt at conversation, because of a void of response very quickly becomes a one-sided, heated dialogue… “You’re just not listening to me!!!”
The purpose of my words today are to stand beside you in that room, whatever room that may be and whisper into your ear…’oh but he does hear you.’

He hears your request to do that chore- and he is learning an acceptable norm.
She hears your request for discourse- and she is learning that she is worth speaking to- that she is worth your words.
He hears your disapproval of his grades, his attitude, that girl, and he is learning that he CAN do better.

Oh, but she does hear you.

But this is where it matters; it’s what happens next that really counts… because he does hear you.

What words do you chose, when the door has been slammed?
What words do you chose, when she has walked away from you?
What words do you chose, when his response was a grunt and not a thankyou.

He does hear you.

Am I pretending that she isn’t at fault? NO
Am I pretending it’s easy? No, I know its not.

But I’ve seen the tears at the end of it all. I’ve seen the way that words frame worlds. Good or bad. I’ve seen the negative prophecies of a parents lived out in the lives of young people with a less than fairy tale ending,

And I’ve seen the worlds of young people come tumbling down, caught in the safety net of the words of encouraging parents who could neverhave known the pain their child was suffering. But knew to speak.

I have a friend- her world could have been framed by the words of her parents-
“We love you”
“You are wonderful”
“You are beautiful”
“You are valuable”
She chose not to allow these words to frame her childhood, nor her teen years or her early adult years- perfect words lost on an imperfect lifestyle.
But words cannot remain lost forever and on a darkened day the words that had been spoken years earlier finally fell on a ready moment and she HEARD.

My prayer;
– That we would know when to speak and when to pray
– That we would know that an encouraging word is for EVERY season, rain, hail or shine. Anger, turmoil or peace.
– That our anger would be kept in check. Our words; a blessing not a weapon.

He does hear you.

 

 

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